The Lake (Part two)

Standing on the edge of that lake and pondering jumping in was scary.  Not because it was actually scary, more like I just didn’t know what to expect.  I mean, it was a little scary, I was more nervous than anything.  What’s going to happen when I jump in?  What’s it’s going to feel like? 

 

When I actually thought about it for a bit I realized I was being silly.  I mean, all of the questions I had I already knew the answers to.  I just wasn’t thinking straight.  Instead of thinking about my questions and the answers, I had surrendered to the fear.  There weren’t even any real questions there.  I knew what it was like to swim.  I knew what it was like to be wet.  I knew what it was like to jump into the water.  The actual dangers of jumping in were obvious too. Amoebas, gators, drowning…  None of them were actually stopping me from going; it was just the fear.

 

I’d been wanting to cross this lake for years, literally years.  I had moved away from Florida without crossing it, and when we went back I had the opportunity again.  We had a family picnic at the park beside the lake while there.  I dared my friend to cross it; threw in some snide remarks about his bravery/manhood to intensify the dare.  He accepted, jumped in and swam half way across.  He only returned after we convinced him that he’d made it more than half way and returning would be the same as swimming the whole thing.  There was a gator coming for him.  We’d seen the gator across the lake when he first jumped in and it was slowly making ground on Ollie’s position.  Ollie came back and everything was fine.  We continued to hang out on the shore for a bit.  I was still thinking about crossing it.  Ollie’s daughter told me I was too chicken to cross it.  And I realized she was right. 

 

I was at the crisis point to achieving this thing, this challenge, crossing this lake, something I wanted to do badly.  I’d wanted to do it for years, I’ve been given yet another chance, and I’ve still not gone for it.  What’s stopping me?  You see, I was frozen there.  

 

I sat there for probably about 20 minutes before I finally committed to it.  I checked on the position of the gator (the one we could see).  I checked the temperature of the water to make sure it wasn’t warm enough to support amoebas.  I gave my wallet and stuff to someone to hold.  I even arranged for someone to pick me up once I’d crossed the lake.  I was guessing that it should take about 15 minutes or so to cross.

 

I waded to about my knees, crouched down a little, then sprang into a nice shallow dive, arms extended in front of me, lungs full of breath and ready for the water. 

 

Then I jumped in.  

 

It was so wonderfully refreshing when my face hit the water.  All the fear was gone and all I could think about was the feel of the water on my body.  It was such a hot, oppressive day on the shore.  All of those days standing on the shore, the many times I’d been to the park in the past, were the same.  It was so hot, so uncomfortable. 

 

Why had I waited years for this?  Why was I so hesitant to get in?  What was so scary?

 

I was just scared.  That’s it.  Nothing to do with the lake is actually scary to me.  I mean, alligators are scary, but the likely hood of an alligator attacking me was pretty slim.  I had no fear of drowning.  It was just me being weak.  Me being fearful.  Me being a punk.

 

Now, please don’t think I’m just being hard on myself.  There is a point to this. 

 

The fear, the paralyzing feeling that was keeping me from getting into the lake was the same thing I was thinking before accepting Jesus as my savior.  Before letting go of myself.  I don’t know if you had the same experience.  Mine was like this.  I was a kid.  There were people watching me. (They weren’t really, I just thought they were)  I knew what to expect, just like in the lake, but I was still hesitant.  Everyone had told me what to expect.  I’d read the Bible myself.  

 

I did it, eventually, and it was great. It wasn’t the first time salvation was offered to me.  It took many time, many invitations, when I finally went for it, wow.  I remember the first 10 minutes of my salvation, what a glorious, wonderful, lovely time.  So pure, so clean. 

 

My story about the lake will continue in the next installment.  If you’ve read this and can relate to the “jumping in” section, leave a comment.  Some who read this are still on the shore having convinced themselves not to jump in.  Some who read this are in the lake now and have completely forgotten how glorious it was jumping in that day.  Leave your comment as encouragement and for insight.

 

Thanks,

 

 

Ben

The Lake (Part One)

In the movie “Transformers” there is a scene where the main character, Sam Whitwicky, has finally realized that his car, a transformer known as ‘Bumblebee’, is really a friendly good transformer.  Just after defending Sam by destroying an enemy transformer, Bumblebee swings to a stop in front of Sam and his co-star Mikaela Banes; opening his door to invite them inside.  Sam is now convinced of his intentions and trusting Bumblebee, but Mikaela scoffs when Sam suggests they should get into the car, insinuating it would be the last thing she’d do.  He turns to Mikaela and says “Fifty years from now, when you’re looking back at your life, don’t you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?”

 

Sam and Mikaela were at a precipice, a crisis decision point.  Do they get in the car and join up with the good guys?  Do they run the other way?  Do they stop and ask questions delaying the decision? 

 

I was thinking about something along these lines the other day during a hike my wife and I were on.  Well, actually, I’ll talk about that later.  I was really hooked on this line of thought while standing on the shore of a lake in Florida a couple weeks ago.  In reality, it wasn’t till I was on the opposite shore that I couldn’t get it out of my head.  This concept of taking risk; of throwing it out there, of danger; jeopardy; endurance; fear; worth; value; fulfillment; investing in something bigger then me.

 

I’ll be sharing thoughts with you guys over the next couple posts. Things I’ve been pondering since my time at the lake.  Things that have shaped my view on life, but until recently I didn’t even know how to talk about them.  While working with teens, and with my own life, these things have been hard learned for me. 

 

Come back soon to follow with me on this train of thought.  If you have something to share, please do so.  Anything you want to share, or think could benefit another, would be greatly appreciated.  I get pretty good “viewage” on the page.  But I’m hoping this blog will be an “interactive” one so I’d love to get your comments. 

 

Teaser for the next post:

 

Jumping in the lake